Twice As Many Teeth: A Drink Before Murder

Ah, the glorious return of Doctor Who, where the TARDIS doors will open, and Matt Smith will poke his face out before saving the world. Ready, go!

Wait a minute... who is that?

The Story

Let's start with a T-Rex that pukes out a TARDIS.

I once took the Vomit Comet home. I wish this were what that term meant.

And then burns to death.

After the Doctor and Clara make their glamorous arrival, the Doctor goes through his usual regenerating pains and is put to bed. The Dino bursts into flames, and everyone gathers before the Doctor runs away, steals a jacket, and meets Clara for lunch. Their first date goes pretty badly, and it only goes downhill when they realize the other patrons and the waiter are robots.

To be fair, the last time I ripped off the waiter's face at a restaurant and wore it as a mask, he wasn't too pleased with me either.

Turns out, the combustions, the eyeball stealing, and the creepy restaurant are all part of a scheme by a robot to get the rest of his face.

I would make a joke about this, but I wouldn't want to be cheeky.

And also to reach the "Promised Land". The Doctor rides with the evil robot in a hot air balloon and the evil robot ~somehow~ finds himself impaled on top of Big Ben. Doctor Twelve then disappears for a few hours (I think?) before returning with a clean TARDIS and a new costume.

Clara doesn't like the red lining on the inside of his jacket, so she wants out, but after a well-timed phone call by the still-dying Eleven, and some begging by the now-finally-done-regenerating Twelve, she has a change of heart and decides to stay.

The Review

Let's talk about Recurring Characters.

Why were they in this episode? Re-read my summary above, and you'll notice that I didn't mention them at all. I wasn't trying to stiff them. Despite taking up almost a third of the screentime, they played such a miniscule part in the episode that a complete summary didn't mention them at all.

Okay, I get it - we needed someone to play Clara's two-line conscience, and a bunch of side characters with whom we were already familiar to give the show continuity. Except that we already had the continuity of Clara, and The Eleventh Hour proved that that level of continuity isn't really necessary.

The interesting thing is - they came this close to being relevant. Vastra's speech to Clara about how not to be superficial might actually have changed her mind. But when it came time for Clara to "recognize" the Doctor, she basically forgot that that scene had even happened.

"My Darling Vastra, do you view me as anything other than just a physical object?"
"What? My art can speak? Fascinating...."

I will also point out that this episode made it pretty clear that Madame Vastra's relationship with Jenny is not a happy marriage, which even Jenny is starting to notice.

And moving onto Strax...

"Eyes are the ones you poop from, right?"

Making everything about the glory of Sontar is not funny.

Mistaking Clara's hair for a hat and her clothes for a coat is not funny.
Hitting Clara in the face with a newspaper isn't funny.

Falling on the ground because you can't rappell into a combat zone, despite your species' supposed military excellence, isn't funny.

Moffat: "Now Strax falls in as the comic relief."
Editor: "But, Steven, this scene is supposed to be action, not comedy."
Moffat: "MY CHECKLIST SAYS COMIC RELIEF! NOW GO GET ME A DALEK TO PET! I WANT LASERS! LASERS EVERYWHERE!!!!!!"

Strax, you are not funny.

Let's talk about dinosaurs.

There isn't really a whole lot to say. The episode began, quite loudly, with a dinosaur, but except for a few one-liners about Vastra having seen them as a child, the existence of a T-Rex in the Thames had no impact on the story. The robots could have gotten an optic nerve from anywhere, the TARDIS is pretty good at arriving on any scene (that is its strong suit, in fact), and the Doctor and Clara meeting at the restaurant was driven by something completely unrelated to the dinosaur's combustion anyway.

Let's talk about Clara.

Deep Breath was a great episode for her. When we first met her, I complained about her character lacking a unique perspective on life, having her entire character built on two specific events, rather than actually having a personality or useful skills. For the first time, that seems to have changed.

"With these polka dots, I am invincible"

Clara is a teacher. That fact was briefly mentioned in Day of the Doctor, but didn't drive the story at all. Here, Clara uses her understanding of psychology to talk the evil half-faced robot down from his desire to kill her. I read somewhere (I can't quite recall where) that a measure of a good Doctor Who episode is how easily you could swap out the given companion for a different one. Could you imagine Amy Pond talking back to Cheekless like that?

For those of you who say that she did not exhibit bravery, I will paraphrase Ned Stark, as well as every wise character in every wise show or movie: "When you are afraid, that's the only time you can be brave."

Pictured: Bravery

Let's talk about Doctor Inaugurations.

The Doctor has just regenerated! He pokes his head out of a just-crashed TARDIS, says some ridiculous dialogue to a recurring character that proves he's not quite there in the head, and then collapses. One of the recurring characters says "Who is that? Where's the Doctor?" and the main companion says "That's him!"

Then the whole planet got invaded by aliens, the dashing young Doctor slept through the whole episode until he woke up at the end and defeated the Sycorax in a swordfight and he and Rose lived happily ever after!

Oh, oops - wrong episode.

But while the tone of Tennant's introduction came off kind of light-hearted and confusing, Capaldi's was really dark. He comes out of the TARDIS, starts rambling about dinosaurs, can't remember anyone's names, and then passes out, leaving a disheveled Clara and the Paternosters to sort out his mess.

Not that I would complain about the acting; on the contrary, Jenna Coleman's performance in the opening scene showed real talent that not many possess. But that scene felt like a daughter watching her father struggle with the late stages of Alzheimer's or dementia, and came across as more depressing and scary than anything else.

Let's talk about Phone Calls

I do kind of wish that we'd gone without the phone call. I kind of understand the fan aspect, but having Clara unable to recognize him without help just felt like weakening her character.

"I know he looks too old to be playing a 2000+-year-old character, but trust me - he is... please don't stop watching."

Speaking of which, I wonder if there was any significance to her choice of shirt near the end...

Nah - I can't think of anything.

Let's talk about the Doctor.

Let me preface this by recognizing that the Doctor spent much of this episode addled. He hasn't figured out who he is and he's still growing into his new body. So it's not quite fair to judge him on his first episode. After all, David Tennant slept through most of his.

But, while the Doctor is supposed to be a bit odd, and perhaps scary in a particular sort of way, I don't think that he's supposed to be completely effing terrifying.

"I wonder what grilled Homeless Man tastes like"

But to be fair, that was while his brain was still reassembling itself. And once he was back, oh boy was he back!

Who can forget the scene where the Doctor seems to abandon Clara in the Basement of Death? Of course, you think, logically, the Doctor would never abandon Clara like that. But this is a new Doctor, one who is already a lot less warm and fuzzy. Would he be back? Of course he would... right?

The Face of ~~Boe~~ the Doctor.

So him pulling off that mask was a powerful moment, affirming that even though he's willing to scare the living daylights out of his companion, he still cares; he's still the Doctor.

Also, this:

Lessons from Etiquette School #12: Always offer someone a drink before pushing them out of aircraft

And his rather poignant musings on what constitutes a good view.

"I don't like it - it's too small." --River Song, immediately after the Doctor regenerated

As far as life-lessons are concerned, I can get on board with the whole "Everything is significant" thing.

Let's talk about Robots

For instance, I understand that London's population is somewhat tolerant of those with skin conditions, but how could Mr. Cheeky wander around unnoticed?

"I have bad eyes; do you know any good optometrists?"
"Are you sure you shouldn't see a dermatologist first?"

Similarly, how did Mancini's manage to stay open for any amount of time without inviting any attention from the police or prospective patrons?

"I love this place - they serve the best eyes!"
"Oh! My aunt ate here five years ago. It was so good that she never left."

Or finally, how did the Doctor know that killing ~~Two-Face~~ Half-Face would stop all of the other droids and save everyone else? Lucky guess? Magical knowledge?

Although, I did enjoy the not-so-subtle allusion to certain Fireplaces, although I think it could have been about a million times more subtle and still gotten the point across.

This ship's motto was "Let them eat cake", but one of the robots had a glitch where it associated the word "cake" with what everyone else calls "human flesh".

Let's talk about Missy

It was gratifying that Doctor Who finally gave us the answer to one riddle that's been plaguing me for a long time: Where do robots go when they die?

When a robot dies, he goes to a garden to watch a slight-above-middle-aged woman snarl at him and then prance around with her umbrella.

What a satisfying answer, not introducing any new mysteries. Bravo!

Overall

Deep Breath had a lot to live up to, and I think it did okay. It made for a pretty average standalone story, with an epic but irrelevant introduction, strong pacing throughout, and a depressingly standard deus-ex-machina ending. We had unnecessary side characters, a fan-service phone call from Eleven that hurt more than it helped, and a call-back to one of my favorite Season 2 episodes. And we had some of the first character development that Clara has seen to date.

But of course, we can't forget what Deep Breath was really there for. Peter Capaldi's Twelve made a grand entrance, first as a terrifying bane of the homeless, and then as a darker and more serious Doctor. It'll take some time to get used to him, especially his stark contrast to the manic (and often kind of stupid) Eleven, but I think that Capaldi will be able to...