There's Food Somewhere

Today, we take a break from our usual programming to review a different form of entertainment: A restaurant!

In case you can't tell from the picture above, the place is called Oak Street Beach Food+Drink, and they do technically provide food and drink, while being nestled between a street and a beach, although I didn't notice any oak trees nearby. The food was decent, and the drink was as good as any other can of Diet Pepsi, but the service was so slow that by the time we were fed, it might as well have been called The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

First, we went in and wanted to order some food from the friendly-looking desk thing at the front, like we were able to last summer. Unfortunately, their menu underwent some reductions, so that front area only served hot dogs, which I can't eat, so we went into the dining area and waited for someone to seat us. After waiting for a little while and seeing no one, we found a table and sat down.

After a few minutes of watching some waiters run around and talk to other people, we eventually figured out that we were not sitting in the correct dining area, so we embarked on a quest to find a table with a number. We discovered a pleasant little area with a bunch of tables and a nice view of the beach.

But all of the tables were full, so we couldn't sit there. Eventually, after much searching we found Table 64.

There's Table 64, behind the DJ stand, right in the corner. Now those of you who know me know that I hate loud music. There is very little that annoys me more than music that is so loud that I have to shout over it. Most of the restaurant was okay in terms of volume, but put me right next to the blaring speakers, and I will be an unhappy person.

Although the lovely view of the DJ's patriotic socks almost made up for it

When we sat down was about when I started looking at my watch. It was 12:30. At 12:45, I got up and found a waiter and asked if Table 64 was actually serviced by anyone, because nobody had yet spoken to us. He assured me that it was and that if I was patient, someone would feed us. I was patient, but maybe not as patient as he was thinking, because at 1:00, after still being completely ignored, my wife noticed that Table 3 had just been vacated.

Table 3 looked nice, and when I walked over to it, the music wasn't attempting to melt my brains, so I sat down and waved my wife over to join me. Then, the waiter showed up and asked me to move, since he was about to seat another customer at that table. I was naturally a bit annoyed, but the waiter helpfully pointed out another table, Table 64. I asked him if Table 64 was actually being serviced, because we had been sitting there for a half hour without anyone even making eye contact with us. He assured us that someone would come by shortly and gave us some menus.

When we sat down, we did get a visit almost immediately, but it was by some plates that fell behind a counter in the kitchen and landed next to our table.

"Hello. Will you take our order?"

Finally, at 1:15, the waiter came by and apologized profusely for the wait. We ordered two Shrimp Ceviches (one each), an order of Garlic Parmesan Fries to split, and a drink for each of us. At 1:30, he came back with our drinks.

This clearly took 15 minutes of prep time.

It looks like he opened the can, poured enough of the Pepsi in to fizz up a little, and then brought the whole thing out. A piece of advice if you're planning on opening a restaurant: If this is your only option for drink presentation, leave the can sealed and let the customer do the hard work.

At 2:00, we finally got our food: two Shrimp Ceviches and a Regular Fries. With a little prodding, our waiter realized that we had ordered Garlic Parmesan Fries, not Standard Boring Fries, and took them back. I thought we weren't going to see them again until 2014, but he actually brought them back within a minute.

Your eyes do not deceive you: Garlic Parmesan Fries are merely Standard Boring Fries with some minced garlic and powdered parmesan cheese dumped on top. I'm not sure which would be better - if this was their normal "Garlic Parmesan Fries", or if they just ran to the kitchen and said "Quick! what can we do to add garlic and parmesan to these fries?".

Of course, by the time we got the fries, we were so hungry that we didn't care about the seasonings. We just wanted food, and from the size of the bucket, we clearly got a lot of food.

Oh, just kidding. Two thirds of the bucket were filled with paper, which, while I was hungry enough to taste some, wasn't very appetizing, and certainly wasn't "Garlic Parmesan Fries".

The Shrimp Ceviche was tasty, but I question the need for a 45 minute wait.

Disclaimer: I ate about half of the chips before taking this photo

The meal wasn't all bad. Like I said, I enjoyed the food, and I also really liked the fake newspaper on the paper.

Not the fish pirate's daughter!

And what meal would be complete without some more plates dropping in to say hello?

Oak Street Beach seems like it should have a lot to offer - a nice view of both the city and the beach, and it just so happens to be the only place along that bike trail that accepts credit cards. But the service is so slow, and the food so expensive, that it's worth it to just carry around the extra cash and go somewhere decent. 

Oh well, maybe next summer.

Oak Street Beach: There are tall buildings behind it and food somewhere inside...maybe!